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'I sense that you're experiencing a bit stress. They say that shopping is therapeutic. How about joining my Mom and I this weekend!'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"Let's just get through this first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"I can't stop conducting random security checks."

"I've been window-shopping..."

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

"You've even got me confused now but I'm reasonably sure it's 'righty tighty - lefty loosey'."

Crazy Straw. Crazy Straw after therapy

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"Ten years of therapy, and finally I’ve managed to replace my rage addiction with sarcasm."

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"