Shop Security Strategist Pillows

"They've been having a lot of trouble recently with shoplifting."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

AI Safety Officer

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Statue of Security

Nuclear Security Summit

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

The Costs Of Doing War.

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'I've got it written down...'

'Do you hear someone shouting at us?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

How to create a password you can remember...

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'