Shop Security Strategist Pillows

"They've been having a lot of trouble recently with shoplifting."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

AI Safety Officer

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Nuclear Security Summit

Statue of Security

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'Do you hear someone shouting at us?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

The Costs Of Doing War.

'I've got it written down...'

Dictator, Interrupted

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

How to create a password you can remember...

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

The world of surveillance.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."