Shoe Store Humor Lover Pillows

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

The 29p Shop

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

"That's Mrs. Bigfoot. I'll let you take her."

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"It's the best bag I've ever had, I can get everything in it."

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

Why Creatures Of The Night Don't Wear Corduroy

A woman shops for choir robes in sizes 'small' 'large' and 'large but think they are small'.

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

'Okay, Pete - same time next year?'

"How are you fixed for sandals?"

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

Supermarkets

'This has been our most successful closing down sale ever.'

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

"Sorry, we don't have rental shoes in size 19."

Complaints and Excuses.

'Would you put this on hold for me?'

FOOD, CLOTHING, AND SHELTER, 'These 'big box' stores are getting out of hand.'

"These new self-service tills will certainly cut our staff bills."