Shoe Store Humor Lover Pillows

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'It's cheaper to replace the floor every month than to wash it and risk a customer slipping and then suing us.'

The 29p Shop

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

"It's the best bag I've ever had, I can get everything in it."

"That's Mrs. Bigfoot. I'll let you take her."

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

"... And you said this was you and your husband's first time shopping at Costco?"

Why Creatures Of The Night Don't Wear Corduroy

Do you think Santa will be making a stop at Tiffany & Company tonight, Lance? Sorry to disappoint you, Gloria, but I spotted Santa's sleigh in the parking lot of Kmart & Company earlier.

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

A woman shops for choir robes in sizes 'small' 'large' and 'large but think they are small'.

'Okay, Pete - same time next year?'

"How are you fixed for sandals?"

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

Men's Clothing. Shirts. Sale. Yes, sir, one size does fit all, but it's not that size.

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

Supermarkets

'This has been our most successful closing down sale ever.'

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

"Sorry, we don't have rental shoes in size 19."

A new Walmart store will be built on this site.

Complaints and Excuses.

'Would you put this on hold for me?'

"These new self-service tills will certainly cut our staff bills."