Shock Value Seeker Pillows

'Our defibrillator paddles are broken! Stick his hands in this toaster!'

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

'Isn't it great. It's made from that certain part of the male body.'

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Beef Stew.

Sales Research shows it's too big for them to carry home, sir.

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

Crisis of values

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

"Are you willing to relocate?"

Investments: Buy local! Our 'Value' funds are all New York values.

Stun-gun target practice.

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

"It's your mother calling."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

Meet the Artist

'Say '1' to hear the ocean in English. Decir '2' a oir el ocean en Espanol.'

"No, I don't recycle."

"That's way out of my price range..."

Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, Russia and Qatar agree to freeze oil production

'It's a sunset, Billy. It's not selling anything.'

"The bowling ball represents what you want to be paid, while the mini-pea represents what I think you're worth."

I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

'I'd be more amazed if I DIDN'T hear the ocean.'

"Four bedrooms, oceanfront property, and it's in our price range?! What's the catch?"