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Maritime Tidal News

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

European currency on the edge.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"If you ask me, that sky looks awfully threatening!"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Titanic: How's my steering.

Man dreaming of TV weather girl having clothes blown off.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

Sunny with a chance of Helium

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

Pessimists v Optimists.

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Incorrect weather forecasts.