Shelf Decorator Pillows

"Read? I don't read. I just collect."

"Those are the books I never had a chance to finish, and those are the books I never had a chance to start."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Christmas Tree

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"Home depot."

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Happy Turkey Day!

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

The Pencil and Sharpener

Face Painting.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

Stuffing the turkey.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'