Sheepish Humorist Mugs

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

'Ready Rex?' - A possible dilemma.

Sheep Road Block

"We seem to have lost Bo Peep for the moment, we'll try and get her back, meanwhile..."

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"So. . . what have you been doing all day. . . ?"

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

Small Clams Court

"Was that me or did the oven buzzer go off?"

"Great, just great! School photos are tomorrow..."

'Will you watch out! You're swarming in my way!'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making Ewe talk.'

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

'I have no idea how many I have in my flock. Every time I start counting them I fall asleep.'

Sheep eye test: Bah bah bah...

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?

'See? When we both make that little jog to the right at the last minute...'

No one bleats about fleece club!

'If I hear one more bleat from the jury box, I'm declaring mistrial.'

'I'm just adding to my collection of figurines.'

'I bin treatin' her myself...took a course in vetinery once...

Dead Selfie

'Honey, did you happen to look behind you, before you walked through that door?'

"You have clamedia."

"Stop bleating, it's all ewe,ewe,ewe!"