Sheep Wranglers Pillows

"Logistically impressive Hodges, but does this qualify you for a leadership role in the company?"

New Guy.

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Toys in the DVD Player.

'Beware of teething baby.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

Climbing with the baby

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Babies

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

I'm fed up with cleaning your room! From now on, wipe your feet!

"I handle chatty people for him."

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'Well, your wife is now a den mother! You have triplets!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Winter Clothing'

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'

"When do I get my phone call"

The First Supper

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

'He's at the 'terrible twos' stage.'

"You're training puppy to be housebroken? Looks like she already knows how to break a house!"