Shark-infused Laughter Pillows

'Hey, bartender! This scotch is watered down!'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'The urge to spawn comes from the desire to hear the pitter-patter of tiny fins.'

"Could you stop referring to the interest rate as 'the vig'?"

"He made millions and we got a bad rap. Why has no one eaten Spielberg?"

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

'This is tasty and all, but do you really think this is a great idea considering we have hundreds of teeth?'

"But the travel agent said the beach was safe. Did you go into the water?"

'That still doesn't make you a big fish!'

"Come on, what would be the point of being a pilot fish if I couldn't wear cool pilot sunglasses?"

Fisherman to friend about to be devoured by shark: 'Bill, are you familiar with the health benefits of shark cartilage?'

'There goes 18 stone of muscle to fight a 2 lb trout to the death!'

'I wouldn't describe myself as a troubleshooter. I'm more a trouble-eater.'

'They're like saltines - leave 'em in the water too long, they get mushy.'

Unsupervised on Holiday

"I thought we had agreed, no lawyers!"

"Wow! Is this one of those all-you-can- eat restaurants?"

'Traitor! I hate you!'

"I really need to start carrying some wasabi."

Becky regretted joining SeaHarmony.com

'I've been on a lot of survival training courses, but this is a tough one.'

'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'

'Heh, heh - So how does it feel to be the victim for a change?'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

"Man bun, paddleboarding and vaping? Remember, it's our duty as predators to cull out the lame."

Shush! "You're watching QDC, the Quiet Desperation Channel."

It's a little unorthodox, but I have yet to be attacked by a shark!

Guy sitting on bank pulling fishing rod out of water with sign from fish attached to hook: Out to Lunch.

"That stupid selfie you took with that shark went viral. I hope it was worth it."

'That's strange - he doesn't usually take any notice of the television.'

Yeah, Fred's a real credit to the human race, he owes everyone.

Caution Wet Surface!

Shark attacks man on desert island.