Shampoo Savant Mugs

The Tragedy of Prosperity

'What are you complaining about? You washed it, it went.'

"The groomer used too much product."

Felix Mendelssohn

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

New Suit.

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Sir Edward Elgar

"It's a nice halo and all, but I'm not sure it matches my outfit."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Tie Rolls

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

Holiday Gifts 2020

Choosing What To Wear.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

GURLERS

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

"Everything I do I do with panache. I even say panache with panache."

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

Anton Bruckner.

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

Graffiti Art Class

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

"I like its easygoing spirit, but light mauve shows jelly."

Sergei Prokofiev.