Sexual Health Explorer Pillows

"So the SM is for swedish massage?"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

WHO checklist

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

Sex Education

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Caption Contest TK

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

Bird to psychologist: 'I have some deep-seeded issues.'

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

'I'm a billionaire, but I think like a millionaire.'

'My therapist cured me of using humour as a defence, these days I pack a .45.'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"This sense of remorse... should I be concerned?"

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

A man's health care options.

'The first step was admitting I didn't really have a problem.'

"I know it's tempting but please don't pigeonhole me."

'Schizophrenia! Schizophrenia! What the bloody hell makes you think I've got schizophrenia?'