Sewer Humorists T-Shirts

"But plague spreading is all I know?"

At the rock concert...

The return of Miss Subways

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

Easter Island Safe Distancing Barber Queue

'Under this blubber, pal, there are abs and muscle you wouldn't believe!'

Sandwich Bar.

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

'Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It's not in the pie or the baby's prunes - it's on 'Heartbreak Motel' Oh baby, so lonely...'

Fly having an idea.

Hot Water from the bath.

Toilet door. Table for one!

'Dinner will be washed in five minutes guys...'

'Your tip just went down substantially!'

"They have been given one minute to get out of town."

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

Stand in the Q.

'That perfume you're wearing smells funny. I love it!'

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.

'Who's next'

'Sorry buddy, this one's taken.'

"Here's one - what gets shorter after a pandemic but stays just as long?"

Express line 15 seconds or less.

Bob Becket HMS Pinafore

Hey, little buddy. How's it going in there? You fall in? Occupied! I know it's occupied, little buddy. We all know. It's been occupied for 30 minutes. There's a long line out here. I said "occupied!" When a person says "occupied" from in here, that's supposed to buy another 10 minutes at least. "Occupied" is not a magic word, little buddy. Inhabited! That neither. We're all still here.