Service Savants Gifts

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Where was I?

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Despite the economic downturn, sales are as good as ever.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

'Sell South Africa!'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"I recently upgraded my resume-writing software."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'No tipping please.'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'