Service Industry Jokester Pillows

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'How are you at takeovers?'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"Waiter!"

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

'I suppose you think you're sitting there imagining me in the nude.'

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

'A table near a waiter please.'