Service Industry Antics Pillows

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Waiter!"

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

Use Next Window.

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'A table near a waiter please.'

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'I never get tipped!'

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

We've got to order more uniforms!

Let me guess...reliable, fast technician!

'Would you care for a drink while you're being ignored?'

The poop scooper maid.

"I wanted to make sure you were both happy enough with your life to withstand a major setback with your food."

"We'd like to substitute you for a waiter who'll write down our order."

'That's my table... but those aren't my chairs.'