Service Industry Antics Pillows

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Waiter!"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

Use Next Window.

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'A table near a waiter please.'

'I never get tipped!'

We've got to order more uniforms!

When parcel delivery guys retrain to become waiters....

"You ordered tea sir? This is a luxury hotel so I've not only poured it for you and brought it to your room, but I'm now going to drink it for you."

"Good evening, folks. My name is Leonard, and I hold all the cards."

'Would you care for a drink while you're being ignored?'

Let me guess...reliable, fast technician!

The poop scooper maid.

"We'd like to substitute you for a waiter who'll write down our order."

'That's my table... but those aren't my chairs.'