Sermon Spinner Gifts

'I can remember when you only had to worry about delivering good sermons.'

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"Now, now - If you can't say something nice about a parson, don't say anything at all."

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

"In the beginning was the Worldle..."

He's rehearsing his sermon. Ah, practicing what he preaches.

'I'll be brief today since my Powerpoint isn't working.'

"I'm the owner of Happy Pappy's comedy club. Here's my card. Call me."

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'How fast can you hype?'

The Fourth Little Pig

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

Iris Murdoch

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

Fish talking about fisherman

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Isabel Allende

Always a bigger fish.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Günter Grass

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

"I'm not sheltering at home, I'm an artist in residence!"