Speech Spinner Gifts

'I thought up an incredible sting of rapid-fire witticisms. Too bad they came two hours after my speech.'

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

'What accounts for my prolific output as a political pundit? They pay me by the word.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Fourth Little Pig

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

Iris Murdoch

Fish talking about fisherman

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

Isabel Allende

Always a bigger fish.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"I'm not sheltering at home, I'm an artist in residence!"

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

Storm in a magic lamp.

"Entweder Fisch oder Fleisch"

Best Seller

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

'It was this big. I swear'