Sergeant Gifts

'I must admit, I do look good in stripes.'

"Sarge, the computer won't let me retrieve the criminal files."

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

'By the way, what are we in line for?'

'At ease, soldier.'

'When I ordered you to clean the john with a toothbrush, I didn't mean an electric one!'

'I've done it, Sarge - I've nicked Smelly Bates!'

A shout of sergeants

It ain't half Hoffman.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"I didn't see you at camouflage practice today, soldier!"

"Your soul may belong to Jesus, but your ass belongs to me."

'How can you make so many mistakes when there's only 2 option...LEFT or RIGHT?'

"Paint a message on it? Do you know how much these missiles cost soldier?!?"

"I'm not sure I'm familiar with that bugle call, Sergeant. It sounds kinda panicky."

'I bet Private O'Brien won't misplace the company flag again, eh, Sarge?'

"Why don't you just buy a new biro Sarge?"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Soldier at desk with in/out boxes which read 'advance/retreat'.

'We're starting to see these symptoms in a lot of new recruits, Sergeant. We call it CPW for Cell Phone Withdrawal.'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"Would this be a bad time to submit a holiday form for 2 weeks over the Christmas period?"

'Sargeant Murphy, how would you feel about being a bargaining chip?'

'Finished your beat already, Mackay?!' 'Aye, Sarge. We found a short cut.'

Military sergeant coming up on a private juggling grenades

Sergeant Stripes

"We're all metric now..."

'...and this is the Mess.'

"Confound it! "Shoot first and ask questions later" doesn't apply to the interrogation room!"

"Dismissed corporal. I outrank you."

Beer Sergeant.

"Sorry boys but you're not cut out for this man's Army!"

"Dinner's ready!" "I can't hear you!"