Sequestration Satirist Pillows

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

Spot the difference.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

"At last! They've begun downsizing the top level."

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

"Our flag means debt."

Private Healthcare

"Thanks again Prime Minister. I'll see you in six weeks time."

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'

'I prefer old fashion email messages. I can always deny I ever got them.'

"I promise that this will be the last time that Daddy will ask you to help him post his resume online."

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

"Pearson is known for his austere monetary views."

"I understand the sex scenes have been removed but the balanced-budget and term-limits scenes have been left in."

"We're tired of being stuck in the fridge! We want out!"

'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'Parish Council, working towards obsolescence'

'Sales of new homes are plummeting. I suggest we build old homes.'

'The way things are going in the building trade we are never going to be part of a demolition project in our life time.'

'I'm sorry, Rendleman - But in this economy we just can't justify a company poet.'

"I can't stand rutabagas - couldn't you pay me for NOT growing broccoli instead?"

"My social security number is one."

Your tax $ at work...unless it's a weekend, one of 17 holidays or after 4 PM!

Covid-19: Mind the Gap