Tax Satirist Pillows

"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."

Secrets of the Mitt Romney Tax Return

'Earned income? What's that?'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

tax

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Tax relief

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.