Sentence Survivor Pillows

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

Evil Exams!

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

Tax grab.

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

"Boy, will I be glad when the weekend gets here!"

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

"The long prayer peek."

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

'I'll be right with you as soon as I feed Buzzy.'

"I've got about 20 pages of questionable internet comments here."

"They say you should beware of attachments."

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

White flag being waved through the door of the Internal Revenue Service.

"I can't believe how deep the potholes are this spring!!"

"Life was beautiful. Then I read the comments."

'Relax - this is only tax hell.'

A holiday maker greets a castaway

'I said, now I know why they call you 'Lucky'!'

'Oh yes. It's mentioned here, under side-effects.'

Valentines from your cat

Is my old room ready? It will be nice to take a few years off and rest up!'

'Dr. Jekyll, how well do you know this Mr. Hyde who prepared your taxes?'

'I can't find a darn thing wrong with your return -- could you come back tomorrow?'