Seniors' Interests Pillows

"What we really meant was can you spare some change to pay for the unaffordable Affordable Care Act."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Bed and Breakfast

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Pensioner's Romance

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Love Fest 50th Reunion: Sewing any remaining wild oats encouraged!

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'Dang! The Hoopers have been force-feeding vitamins again.'

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

As a louder and more satisfying alternative to clapping, Lily uses her bingo wings.

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.