Senior Humor Prints

Life begins at 60

Why can't you just buy some extra memory like everybody else?

You can't say I'm too old to drive. Road rage is the only thing keeping me alive.

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Toothless Meal

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.