Humorous Senior Prints

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

A senior moment.

James Bond: Senior Years.

David Blaine, Age 60

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Old man has a walking stick case.

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'Did someone say something?'

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Life begins at 60

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"