Self-stylist Pillows

The quarantine self cut.

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Bad hair day!

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"This is daring, but I like it."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Shoe addict.

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I don't like your application."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

At the suit makers

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

Mr Metrosexual.

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

Loofah Lady

Dolores is so avant garde.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"