Self-publishing T-Shirts

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

"I publish unfettered on the web."

"Steve, trust me, this has nothing to do with you being self-published."

"How's your web cartoon going?"

"I reckon word got out that you were fixin' to pass out copies of your new self-published novel."

"They're all the books I've self published on amazon."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Gay Times...

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Isabel Allende

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'