Self-published Author T-Shirts

"I'm self-published."

Getting rejection notices is worse when you're self-publishing.

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Meet The Author"

"Meet the author"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Thomas Mann.

Edgar Allen Poe

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Ban on Free Speech

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics