Self-narrator Pillows

'His greatest achievement was to write a glowing obituary about himself.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"Watch carefully...it hurts when I do this."

Justice 4 Ron

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

God's Kitchen

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"Your ecosystem is pretty well shot, have you considered giving up humans?"

The Captain's a great storyteller. We call him "Narrative Hook"!

'Hank plays the banjo strictly for his own amusement.'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"She's had work."

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

'...when all at once I saw a bunch, a bunch of golden daffodils...no, it still doesn't sound right.'

"That one goes particularly well with you tie."

Doris Lessing.

Unreliable Narrator

Inflated Biography

Announcement

'Honey, about these motivational notes you've been leaving for yourself...'

'We won't need you. I brought my own.'

'Every year it's the same thing. I resolve to lose a ton and you say you're going to control your anger.'

'No kidding! I was in that David Attenborough documentary too...'

'Snap that line!!...'

'I've been doing a home study course. Now I can echo in three languages!'

"Hola...my name is Gregorio. And you are..."

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'

"He loves her, but he's not in love with her."

"ER says she was Googling diseases."

Of course I talk to myself. It's the only intelligent conversation I have all day.

"I need a good pair of inner voice-cancelling headphones."