Self-improvement Fans Gifts

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Vanity Ward - 'Cosmetic surgery.'

'Go home and quit smoking first, and then come back and I'll try to enlighten you.'

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

I'm a self-made man!

What else is there to wish for?

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

Self Help / Elf Help.

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'He's a self-made man - he did it without the media.'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

When life gives you lemons...

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

It's A Breeze

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

Learn yourself English.

"I attended a leadership seminar, they learnt a lot from me."

A gorilla at a cocktail party thinking to himself "Fake it 'til make it".