Self-improvement Dilettante Gifts

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

Where your mind & battle are los

They hated me.

Butterfly Woman

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Self help acupuncture

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"We'll always have couples therapy."

I'm a self-made man!

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'