Self-gifters Gifts

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"I know it's not an ideal situation, Samantha, but how else are we going to afford a 160 gigabyte laptop, a top of the range mobile and a Playstation 3 for the kids presents?"

Tipping Pain Chart

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

It's the thought that counts!

"Don't look him in the mouth! Don't look him in the mouuuthhh!!"

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

That's what I hate about sole proprietorship. On Boss's Day, nobody gives me a gift.

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

Blood Donor

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

"Seriously? Earrings again? How much thought do you actually put into buying me presents?"

'Uh oh, looks like we've got weekend guests.'

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

Cats and Gift Bags

Pushy Cashpoint

Free sweatshirts for our customers (sweatshirts read: Survived the last heating bill!)

'If it's flowers you want,may I suggest a vegetarian restaurant,sir?'

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

Only one Partridge in a pear tree? Mr. Jones next door gave his true love two partridges.

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

"My wife's bra size? I don't know, about like this I guess."

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

'I'm afraid I don't have any spare change at the moment.. Tell you what though, if you give me your email address I'll contribute via the internet.'

'Tah-DAH! -- I've solved the tax surplus problem!'