Self-esteem Journeyer Gifts

"I don't even have a relationship with a bank."

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'You've changed.'

Ego Increasing School

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

'Doc, my problem is that I don't believe in myself!'

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

Tell me about this feeling of inadequacy

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches

"So tell me - what makes you think you're a 'monster'?"

'We can increase your self-esteem, but self-respect is more difficult.'

Psychiatry. You just have to believe in yourself.

"I wish I was special."

"I ask you doctor, would any normal person wear this hat?"