Self-deprecation Appreciator Gifts

Madonna of the Pukes.

Trump! The Musical

Night of the Zombonies.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

That party went well.

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

'I still love those classic solos from the 70s - but who has the time?'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Drunk Vampire

"We pay the living dead wage."

"Everyone loved working with Doctor Patel... Beer!"

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

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