Self-conscious Pal Gifts

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

That party went well.

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

Bald man with a brush on his head

'Oh no we couldn't...We've known one another too long' Then they kiss and laugh

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

"I don't feel so much endangered as I do under funded."

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"

"I'm weaning Bob from the TV. That's a placebo remote."

Love.

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'It's odd, that while I no longer fear death, I continue to fear pants that make my butt look too round.'

Climate change has driven snow from famous trademark.

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

Preparing for a Big Date without Abortion Rights

'Still ugly? Then come in and get p****d'

I feel your pain. (Bus stops on man's foot).

Hanging out...

'I'm an arsonist. I'm supposed to leave a large carbon footprint.'

"I finally found a look that covers all my flaws."

Insecurity

"I can't seem to do anything right."

"Oh, just picking up the pieces of my life after a really traumatic haircut."

He was a good man. She was going to miss him.