Self-care Sorceress Gifts

"It's a recipe for self-care."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Work/Life Balance

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

The adoration of the gels.

Spa

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Bad hair day!

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."