Self-aware Scribbler Pillows

"Before I went on antidepressants I had a better sense of how mediocre my writing was."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Maybe I'm not the best choice to ask if your silly wife cartoons are funny!"

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

Will Self deprecation

'Hows it coming?'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

'They've agreed to our 3-book, 7-figure offer, but only if you remain obscene and obnoxious through book 2.'

Internet Commenter Magazine.

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer's Block

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

A pen spewing letters

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Woman writer writing romantical about writing on her unromantic computer

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

John Bolton

"That laptop was expensive as hell but publishers are still rejecting my stories! I want my money back!"

Monk with a crucifix pen.

"It's from your student loan office."

A Winter's Day by Mary Lou Fleckner

"But I have a hard time calling this real writing."

'Fifty-seven authors, and neither one of us was included.'

Nurse draws on patient's cast

"Ah, to be young again."