Segway Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Stop, thief!'

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

Bicycle Sidecar.

Doubledecker bus stop

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Subway Thrillers

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

S**t Creek Halt

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

They Always Say That

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"Try to fit in, Dear."

Hackney-Coach Stands

How do fish get to work?

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

"USA map"

'They had a lot more authority on horses, don't you think? It's hard to take them seriously on those things.'

Octo-Bus.

The Bus Stop.

The happy union of rail and trucking.

Santa emergency stop.

'The Easter Bunny and Hist Eight Tiny Reinhares.'

Santa's Flies Safe

"Dear Santa, I just want one simple thing for Christmas this year. Your schematic for building an aerodynamic time-traveling toy sleigh."

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

'You'd never make it as a train driver - how about replacement bus service driver?''

'I waxed the runners.'

'These new bendy wagons will be handy when pulling em into a circle.'

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

"I was caught by the speed trap several times, then they took away my licence because I was drunk and crashed into five police cars. That was the end of my truck driver career. Luckily I found a new job!"

"F train coming, Kemosabe - two maybe three stops away."