Segway Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Stop, thief!'

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

Bicycle Sidecar.

Doubledecker bus stop

Subway Thrillers

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Well, the doctor confirmed that it's not Rosacea.

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

S**t Creek Halt

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"Try to fit in, Dear."

Hackney-Coach Stands

How do fish get to work?

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

The Bus Stop.

Octo-Bus.

"USA map"

Santa emergency stop.

The happy union of rail and trucking.

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

'You'd never make it as a train driver - how about replacement bus service driver?''

Strolling Violin

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

Santa's Flies Safe

"I was caught by the speed trap several times, then they took away my licence because I was drunk and crashed into five police cars. That was the end of my truck driver career. Luckily I found a new job!"

'I waxed the runners.'

"F train coming, Kemosabe - two maybe three stops away."

'These new bendy wagons will be handy when pulling em into a circle.'

"Dear Santa, I just want one simple thing for Christmas this year. Your schematic for building an aerodynamic time-traveling toy sleigh."