Seeking Rehabilitation T-Shirts

It had been a long, hard climb, but Bob was finally going to rub elbows with the stars.

'Give yourself up, Rocco, and enter a twelve-step rehab program.'

"He now wishes, M'lud, to put the 632 convictions behind him and to base his life on helping the poor."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I hate all holidays!'

Turmoil change.

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

Emotional Support Pest

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"I don't know, Doc, it's just that lately I've been feeling crummy!"