Seeking Redemption Gifts

'I tried to turn my life around, and apparently I made an illegal U-turn.'

"You keep saying that you're a changed man, but if you do get that parole how can I know for sure you won't go back to robbing banks?"

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"The meaning of life? Funny you should ask."

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

The Ekert Saga: 'Are you nuts?! If someone locked me in a shed, I'd be furious and want to get revenge!!... Then again, getting angry doesn't make things any better...'

'I'm texting my inner child.'

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

'So you're saying that if I truly repent all my sins will be deleted?'

Relate

'I know you live a life of quiet desperation -- you never shut up about it!'

Bear with a human head as a trophy

"That brings us to your search history."

"I keep it on to remind me that I managed to escape a life of crime before I was in too deep."

"Of course you're angry at me for springing a surprise memory quiz on you, but you've got to learn to forgive and forget."

'Sure, I did all that stuff once, but this is the NEW me.'

"He now wishes, M'lud, to put the 632 convictions behind him and to base his life on helping the poor."

Man who has had his hat ruined by boys showing their lenient mother.

'Hello, God? Tony here... Fine, thanks. SIr, it's that Hayes guy. He's cheating again. You want I should whack him?'

My consciousness vs my ego

Stupa - Drunken Stupa

"The unprovoked attack when you were younger? You have to forgive yourself for that."

"This one's for our brother, the whistleblower seeking sanctuary in your tree."

'It's important to believe in yourself - even when the jury doesn't.'

"As he looked around Jeremy could not help but feel he was the only one without a porpoise in life."

"Dear Lord, please grant me sex for favors."

'That's our founder and his parole officer.'