Seeking Marital Therapy Pillows

"I know where and when I got married. I just can't remember why."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Try Mediation

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

'Great Therapy!'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"We don't talk anymore."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"He refuses to talk and he never listens."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."