Marital Therapy Pillows

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Relationship Warning Lights

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Try Mediation

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

"We don't talk anymore."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Two Rages Passing in the Night

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."