Seeking Lifestyle Change T-Shirts

'I'd like to quit drinking, but it's all I KNOW!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Item #3715 - cozy cardigan

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"You won’t need refills."

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

"Guess the weight you used to be"

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

"I used to be old, too, but it wasn't my cup of tea."

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

'Watch yourself.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Books or Junk Food.

"My joints... are almost done"

The Shy Nudist Camp.

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"