Sedentary Lifestyle Challengers Pillows

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

The cake diet.

Use it or lose it.

'I reduce my stress with comfort food. Now none of my clothes are comfortable.'

'American, idle.'

As soon as the diet ends the lost weight returns.

'I got him for self defense. Boze eats my wife's leftovers.'

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

'Go ahead, rub it in!'

"It seems like everything these days is new and improved. . . except you."

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

'Good luck. That patch is designed to help you stick to your diet.'