Sedentary Chronicles Pillows

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Some women to see you, Anne."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

A businessman sits behind a desk; a nameplate on the desk reads "A. Nellson: Desk Potato".

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"He wanted to be buried how he lived his life."

Modern Childhood

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

"It seems like everything these days is new and improved. . . except you."

"... I CAN'T be 'at risk for a heart attack,' I never exert myself!"

"We have a new exercise routine. I moved the refrigerator to the basement and the TV to the attic."

"I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!"

'It's repetitive strain injury - try using the thumb on your other hand for the television remote.'