Sedative Seeker Pillows

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Spa

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Turn, turn and turn.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Working Holiday

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Cat in a flap

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Canine Scentipede

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"It feels good to unwind..."

"I love this time of day."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Crowded Ice Fishing

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Dog Park / Cat Park

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"