Security Screening Satirist Mugs

Animals going through security before boarding Noah's Ark.

Airport Security.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Safety Barriers

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Data From a Truck

Private Viewing

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

How to create a password you can remember...

Munich Security Conference

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Hello, security.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

"Oh, can't complain."

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Could you take a quick look and see if I lost a filling on the upper left row of teeth?'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'What do you mean, 'will the director see you now'? He's been watching you for the past two weeks.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Airport security - next step?

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Courthouse. If justice is blind, why does it need so many cameras?