Security Enforcement T-Shirts

'Sorry, absolutely no exceptions.'

The Anti-Agent

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

UK border controls relaxed.

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'You know too much,'

High security Santa's grotto

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Airport Security.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"He's a guard dog."

TSA Noah

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

The Scanner Of Love.

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

Privacy Conference Security

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Beware of Don"

Totalitarian Humour

Moulin Rouge Security

Scarecrows guarding a field