Secular Philosopher T-Shirts

'I didn't know secular humanists had missionaries!'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

What if Huckabee Were a Fundamentalist Hindu?

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

'I wonder if there's a message up there somewhere.'

Yogi back in 5.

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

Priest

Life is simpler in the sticks.

Out for lunch... GOD

The Guru is away to negotiate movie rights for his best-selling book, 'Money Won't Make You Happy'."

"I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his lear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes."

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

Moses Separates the Cream. . .

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

Religion, This End Up

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

"They're on a silent retreat."

House of Wishful Thinking

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

Yahweh/Your Way

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

Catholic-Protestant Debates....

'I don't understand. I haven't done anything to encourage them...'