Secretive Tv Watchers Pillows

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Koalas when no one's looking"

Tree house.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Och lye the news'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Children watching a horse show from under the tent

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?