Secretive Sages T-Shirts

Flower jumps back into its pot when a lady walks into the room.

Sigmund Freud.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

Bishop with a crozier case.

"Question authority"

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"Someday all these anonymous accounts will belong to shell companies of which you will deny all knowledge."

Since Greg was accepted by Mensa, he'd rather not say anything than say something incorrect.

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

A mountain guru has a sign on his mountain for safe social distancing.

'The secret of life, son, is finding a better hiding place than I did.'

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

'Let's face it, Old Simkins is well past his 'best before' date...'

CIA, NOW HIRING, 'My resume? - I memorized it and burned it.'